


Pick Us Up at 600 Main Street.

by VainVariety



Category: Helltaker (Video Game)
Genre: Not Beta Read, Religious Guilt, based off that one comic where they impersonate police officers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:07:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29644149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VainVariety/pseuds/VainVariety
Summary: Would you do it again if given the chance?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Pick Us Up at 600 Main Street.

**Author's Note:**

> (NSFW NOTE AT THE END!)
> 
> Sorry for my absence and not staying true to "The Extent to Which a Demon can Love". I've been swamped with school work & work and my motivation has run dry. I am working towards other writing projects I am very excited to plan out and show you all very soon, so I promise I have not gone MIA with no reason!
> 
> This is something silly I wrote to kind of hint at how sinful Azazel has become but still stay extremely vague at the same time haha. I can't wait to explore this concept further and test her limits... Maybe not in this work but definitely sometime in the near future ;-)

“I need you to pick us up.”Pandemonica squinted and looked at the phone in her hand, registering the voice on the other line to be Justice.

“Where are you?What do you mean ‘us’?”

“We got arrested.”

“You’re fucking with me.”

“600 Main Street, see ya.”They hung up, and Pandemonica drummed her forehead against a wall.

Of course it had to be her— of course.It always had to be her who played babysitter.Naturally, that role would be fulfilled by Lucifer who would insist that it is not babysitting and would end with a long convoluted lesson at the end as to why you should always obey her orders, but they never listened.No one ever did, Pandemonica included. 

She mentally ran through the list as she trudged to put her shoes on.Zdrada would be absolutely no help at all, finding more pleasure to point and laugh and would probably leave them there and keep that phone call secret from the rest of the group.Malina would probably pick them up if forced to, though she wouldn’t be mature about it.Cerberus absolutely couldn’t be trusted on their own and Judgement would burn the police station to the ground to impress Justice. 

That left three of them uncounted for.Justice, Modeus, and …

“Azazel?”Pandemonica couldn’t believe what she was hearing, in fact, it made her blood run cold.Azazel got arrested?The angel sent from Heaven, who so desperately worked to get back in, and would fantasize about it with the receptionist so openly and fondly?The demon paused, focusing in on the pang in her chest.She felt for that poor angel girl, was this sympathy?How long has it been since a demon has sympathized with another being?The pity turned to fear, realizing if she told anyone about this it would mean consequences.

Perhaps she would have to play bad cop.

A quick call to the police station and Pandemonica dug around for the Helltaker’s checkbook, scribbling down the fine they all had to pay and marveling at the number.With a thank you, she hung up and headed straight for the station without a goodbye.

Picking them up and paying their fine was smoother than they thought, but when the officer expressed concern that none of their files were registered, Pandemonica explained they had just moved here and left before any of them could ask any further questions.

“Thank you Pandemonica,” Modeus mewled, instantly sticking to her side once the handcuffs were off, taking note of how all three fiddled with their wrists.

“They were mean.”

“Yeah, it’d be awesome if they knew what a joke was.”Justice tsked, tucking hair behind their ears. 

“What did you even get arrested for?”Pandemonica asked, twisting their head to cast a glance towards Azazel, who was suspiciously quiet.She knew the girl was counting her blessings and left her be as Modeus explained their plans for a scandalous little afternoon.The scenario was amusing but no signs of it show on Pandemonica’s face, who responded that Lucifer wouldn’t be happy.

“She’d think it’s funny.”Justice piped up, hands in their pockets.And once they walked through the door, Lucifer was waiting.

A quick look up and down and the Queen waved them off, uttering how she wasn’t ready to hear about the bullshit they found themselves in.Justice went to coddle their queen and Modeus close behind, rather handsy now that they were free.

Azazel took her time walking inside, carefully watching how Lucifer grappled with two mischievous demons, knowing that her magic could ward them off easily and she would be worry free.But she allowed Modeus to dangle from her waist and Justice to try and steal a kiss of forgiveness.Why?Why did she allow such things, if she was truly above them and annoyed by their actions?There was a possibility that she liked it.The thought stuck in her throat as her skin grew clammy.

To indulge, she had learned, was a sin, but was it bad to indulge in earthly pleasures every once in a while?Even if you remain devout immediately after and beg for forgiveness?How many times could you beg and plead on your knees until you are no longer safe in His eyes?It terrified the little angel to go against all she knew, but Modeus never minded that.

They have all opened her eyes and shown her that to be dutiful and to sin is natural and normal, even for an angel.She would recall in Heaven how not all the angels always followed the rules, so surely this was no different.The only difference was that she wanted to test the waters.

“I can’t believe you got arrested, Azazel.”Pandemonica confided in her, snapping out of her debate to realize they still stood in the doorway.Azazel smiled pleasantly despite her circumstances but plotted how this would have turned out if they weren't caught.

Maybe she was already too far gone.

**Author's Note:**

> i can't fucking believe azazel got arrested and almost acted as a porn camera man... azazel knows about porn. azazel knows what porn is.


End file.
